Kamui, the main character, was kidnapped.

 Grey-skinned creeper-man, also known as King Garon of Nohr.

And they most definitely weren’t subtle about it. Grey-skinned creeper-man literally says “You are my child now,” and takes you. What? That’s not okay. I suppose we’re getting an amazing story out of it, but I at least hope the kidnapping required a bit more effort than is shown. What was a child of royal blood even doing alone outside after dark? …besides getting kidnapped, that is.

Aqua cries a lot.

Then again, she was kidnapped too. The heroine of our story, or second heroine if Kamui is made female, Aqua is clearly an integral part of the story. Unfortunately, we only ever see her getting crushed by dragon-things, experiencing searing pain, or seemingly drowning herself – and crying the whole time. Thankfully her spoken lines and lyrics imply passion and strength to counter her tears.

In times of war, we must prepare for the unthinkable.

“Try to be… at peace.”

You may recognize this face as that of Kamui’s younger adopted sister, Elise. The game’s developers did say that your siblings on one side will be your enemies on the other, but, for some reason, it rarely clicks that the player may very well have to watch one of their younger sisters die. If the developers are feeling extra cruel, Kamui may be the one to land the fatal blow.

On the bright side, there’s cow magic.

Now that the internal magic triangle has been dissolved, all types of weird magics can be implemented in the new game. Why exactly one of them summons a bull to charge into your enemy and explode, I’m not quite sure. I won’t complain though! Now that weapons are unbreakable, I can Lion King ALL of my enemies to dust! …too soon?

And that’s all for now! Fire Emblem Fates will see a western release in 2016. We still don’t know what season that will be, or if we will even be getting a special edition bundle like Japan will. Nonetheless, sit tight if you’re craving spoilers, because the Japanese release of Fire Emblem if is about a week away – June 25th!