Firefly premiered on FOX in 2002, but the Joss Whedon series was short-lived. Without even finishing its 13 episode season, the network canceled the series. DVD sets and a theatrical movie, Serenity, kept the series alive with fans before comic books debuted. It’s become a cult classic.
Even though the series is set 500 years into humanity’s future, we can still imagine just where each of the main characters (and one great antagonist) might have wound up at Harry Potter’s Hogwarts. With a ship full of smugglers just trying to get by, fans might be surprised that there aren’t that many Slytherins among them. Read on to find out which Hogwarts houses the Firefly characters would fit into.
River: Ravenclaw
The sorting leads off with a bit of a no-brainer for River. As her brother once explained, calling River Tam a genius is selling her short. She’s whatever exists beyond genius level intelligence.
As a child, River absorbed information quickly and methodically. There was no subject too difficult for her. She surpassed her brother, who went on to become a brilliant doctor. Even as an adult whose mind has been “meddled” with by scientists, River is still curious about the world around her. She would literally tear books apart to figure out why they didn’t make sense. She could land in no other Hogwarts house but Ravenclaw.
Simon: Hufflepuff
Despite being a brilliant doctor, Simon Tam wouldn’t end up in Ravenclaw with his little sister. His motivation in much of his life isn’t knowledge. Instead, it’s family.
That’s why Simon would be more at home in a house like Hufflepuff. Simon is unflinchingly loyal to his sister. His sister held captive and experimented on is the only thing that could make him get his hands dirty and go on the run from a hostile government. River is why he made his home on a ship full of smugglers. Everything in his life has been about keeping her safe.
Jayne: Slytherin
The sorting hat’s first instinct might be to sort Jayne into Gryffindor. He’s got a lot of bravado after all, and he thinks of himself as the man in charge - even when he’s clearly not. The issue, however, is that Jayne isn’t really the sort to participate in heroics unless everyone else is. He’s much more comfortable with the double cross.
That’s why Jayne would fit right in with the Slytherins. He doesn’t always go through with double crossing someone, but it’s always one of his first thoughts. Jayne is about a paycheck first and doing the right thing second. He’s the only Slytherin amongst the Firefly class spaceship’s crew.
Kaylee: Hufflepuff
Kaylee Frye never met a piece of machinery she couldn’t figure out. Her natural inclination toward mechanics provide a nice argument for Ravenclaw. Her personality, however, is much more in line with the Hufflepuffs.
Kaylee genuinely loves the crew she signed up with. She’s not someone who necessarily loves breaking laws, but she does believe that everyone deserves a fair shake. That’s why she has no problem preparing equipment to steal from the wealthy to make sure the poorer planets can get a decent payday.
Inara: Gryffindor
Inara is one of the most difficult characters to pin down. In the world of Firefly, she lives a pretty distinguished life as a companion. What is seen as prestige in some circles, however, is low class in others. Her training means that she’s knowledgeable in many areas, but she doesn’t have the curiosity to pursue any interests in particular.
It’s Inara’s choices that see her wind up sorted in Gryffindor. Inara could easily choose to live a comfortable life as a companion on planets closer to the Alliance. Instead, she travels with a crew she knows regularly breaks the law - and even helps them break it on occasion. She makes the choice to help people with them and to outsmart government agents, though it comes at a great personal cost to her. Bravery and a fixed idea of morality point her to the crew of the Serenity.
Saffron: Slytherin
Saffron AKA Yolanda AKA Bridget was one of only a few recurring characters in Firefly’s short run. One of the most fascinating antagonists in the show, Saffron presented herself as an innocent young woman accidentally ending up married. In reality, she was a con artist looking for a big prize.
Whatever name fans choose to call her, she winds up sorted into Slytherin. Saffron wants the freedom of a good life, not unlike the crew of the Serenity. The difference is she doesn’t care who she hurts to do it. Saffron will lie, scheme, and steal to get herself enough money to live comfortably.
Book: Ravenclaw
Shepherd Book is a religious leader without a flock when he boards a little Firefly class spaceship. He has the moral compass of a Gryffindor, but he hides secrets like a Slytherin, and demonstrates a fierce loyalty to those he befriends like a Hufflepuff. Book, however, also has a keen mind, and is one of the few who can even attempt to follow River’s ramblings. He’s definitely a Ravenclaw.
The preacher has a surprisingly vast knowledge of obscure topics, and he’s always willing to learn more. A discerning man, being on a ship with smugglers doesn’t bother him quite as much as it should as he’s a keen observer of human behavior. He is able to understand much of the crew fairly quickly.
Zoe: Gryffindor
As the first mate of the ship, Zoe has to have a certain degree of loyalty to her captain. Zoe, however, is both pragmatic and heroic, knowing when to push back and disobey orders. She’s never one to walk away from a tough situation, making her a true Gryffindor.
Zoe is frequently the one showing enough bravery to take on the bad guys on her own. She’s also willing to go into a bad situation by herself to make sure a job gets done. Her bravery does know bounds. When given the choice between using violence to go against a warlord, she opts to buy back her imprisoned husband instead.
Wash: Hufflepuff
The pilot of Serenity, Wash isn’t one to often engage in the actual crime of the crew. Like Kaylee, he often stays behind on the ship, keeping it ready for a quick getaway. Wash is someone who likes to keep himself, not to mention his Gryffindor wife, out of danger.
In fact, it’s Zoe who earns him his Hufflepuff sorting. If he and Zoe hadn’t married, there’s a good chance Wash would have been able to walk away from his life of crime. It’s his love for Zoe that keeps him working for Mal. No matter how much he and Mal argue, he never turns his back on the Captain or the other members of the crew.
Mal: Gryffindor
Malcolm Reynolds, a man on the losing side of the biggest war in the galaxy, couldn’t be anything but a Gryffindor. Convinced he wasn’t on the losing side, he holds fast to many of the same convictions he had then.
Mal is full of bravado, ready to show off during his criminal escapades. He never misses a chance to pick a fight with Alliance soldiers on the anniversary of the end of the war, and he’s willing to take the riskiest of jobs if it means getting back at the government. His only goal is to keep flying and keep his crew going as long as he can.
